Sunday, November 6, 2016

Writing term 4

I've been working on adverbs for my writing. (The adverbs are highlighted.)

As the big boat drifted through the the still water, the breeze gently blew. Fred Dagg was lying on his sun bathing chair. He suddenly heard a loud splashing noise in the water they were quite near the Shoar. He sat up and got off his chair. Every time he stepped forward the splashing got louder. (Splash splash! SPLASH!). 


Fred went all the way to the back of the boat and saw a huge great white shark jumping happily up and down in the water and eating all the fish. There were some other people watching this crazy happening. Then the huge shark jumped out of the water and violently dragged a lady into the water. The lady screamed crazily. The Fred saw the whole length of the shark he thought it was about 7.5m long. 


Fred thought he had to save her because all of the other people were screaming and running around the boat. But his weakness was water he had to try he jumped into the water and the same shark came and try to bite him so he grabbed the shark fin and punched it. This made the shark dropped the lady Fred ripped off one of the bars of the boat and shoved it in the Shark's mouth so it couldn't close it. He swam down and got the lady and put her on the boat and got back on the boat.


Fred asked if  the driver could turn the boat around so they could all go home and be safe. THE END


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